is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
