Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
