That's intense
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
