you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
