doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My nipple is on Facebook.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
