thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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