no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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