STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
