Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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