Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
