Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
