Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
