YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
