She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize