God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His nipple licking is glorious
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