I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
