Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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