Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
