The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
as a side note pls kill me
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