since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
