I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
