I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
