after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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