been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
