you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
