i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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