i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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