glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
