do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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