Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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