don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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