The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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