areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just had sex on a roof
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
