Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
