I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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