I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
