I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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