I feel like abortions should bother me more
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize