like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Terrible idea I love it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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