His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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