guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
