Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
