then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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