I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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