the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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