Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
