I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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