I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So much Jack, so little girl.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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