I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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