Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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