I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
