I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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