My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This is the high leading the old right now
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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