dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize