i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
