did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
