Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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