Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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