he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i already hear my dad disowning me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
