people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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