420 ftw
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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