I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
